No One Is Alone

Hello fans! 🙋🏽‍♂️

I hope y’all are all blessed and off of work!

These past couple of months have been insaaaaaane! I don’t know what was in the air this Summer, but we were tested every way possible. Guys, I went as far as having José cleanse me with an egg (it’s a Mexican ting) to get rid of any and all bad vibes! I think it worked a little!

Trying times can really take a toll on you mentally. As many of you know, I developed anxiety in the last two years and that stuff isn’t fun. Anxiety can mess with you in many ways. I recently discovered that even though I don’t feel that crippling anxiety feeling sometimes (which is the worst) it effects me in different ways. For instance, if you’ve been around me you know that sometimes I get like these sweat attacks! I know, it sounds so gross, but I like randomly start sweating profusely. It’s a form of anxiety! Any time I’m uncomfortable or stressed I start sweating. It’s so obnoxious, but since I’ve become aware of it I do certain things to help it pass and it works! I’ll get into that a little later. I’ve also recently noticed that I have OCD tendencies when I’m under stress. I have to fight the urge to like color code my clothes, mess with my nails until they’re perfectly even, or mess with my hair non-stop. Also, I get sleep paralysis which is the most terrifying thing in the world and it started happening to me on a daily basis because of stress. A bitch was going through it! Sometimes it really does feel like I’m going crazy! Add all the things that are happening around me and that’s the perfect recipe for a good meltdown!

This past Summer, I decided to start therapy.

Fans, I literally started getting that anxiety tingle in my hands as I typed that! It’s kind of a really super personal thing for me to put out there, but in honor of World Mental Health Day I thought this was important to share.

All of the things that have happened in my life this year kind of started breaking me a bit. I honestly felt like my life was unraveling and I didn’t really know how to put it back together. You guys know I have the most amazing people in my life. My friends are the greatest people I know and my family is the best. So, I didn’t understand how with all of these great people around me I still managed to feel like the loneliest crazy person on Earth.

The idea of therapy was always in the back of my head, but it almost felt selfish considering it because I’ve been blessed with being surrounded with love all of my life and that has always been enough. I love my friends and family, but if I heard them tell me, “You’re such a good guy! You deserve more!” or “It’ll get better” one more time I was going to lose it.

It was tough (and expensive), but I finally gave it a chance! It’s been 5 months since I started therapy and I can honestly say it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. Next to selling my soul to Beyoncé, of course 🐝

I’m not trying to push therapy on y’all! I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but I’ve found it very helpful. From anxiety coping skills to confronting that pesky little demon in my sleep paralysis to learning about self acceptance, it’s been quite a journey!

It’s not all smooth sailing though! It takes work outside of the sessions. Some days it takes A LOT of work, but tell me why I’ve learned to get this anxiety under control and I’ve only had two episodes of sleep paralysis since I started!

I’m still a work in progress, but the road ahead is a little less fuzzy.

I don’t want to keep y’all reading so I’ll end with this. Mental health is so important, fans. There are many FREE resources out there to help with mental illness and I strongly encourage y’all to explore them. If you need help looking anything up, I’m your guy! I know it can be hard to reach out for help, but that’s what we’re here for. In the words of Stephen Sondheim and The Rembrandts, no one is alone. I’ll be there for you 💜

CURRENT OBSESSION

A STAR IS BORN!

This Oscar worthy film is everything you need and more! The soundtrack is fire too. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper did that!

Until next time!

XO,

-Carlos

The Edge of Glory

  
Hello birds! 🐥🐥🐥

I like to play with fire. Not literally, of course, but figuratively speaking. I like to use my phone while I pour gas, run stop lights if no one is around, get wastey pants when I know I have work early the next day, or sleep with people I shouldn’t sleep with. To name a few. Some of you might just think that doing things like that is flat out stupid, and I would have to agree. I’m still learning how to reel in that side of me, for the sake of…I don’t know…my life I guess! As I’m progressing further into this insane life, I’m realizing the importance of a boundary. The importance of being mindful of not crossing or staying a safe distance from that pesky little “line.”At the same time, I feel like my life wouldn’t be as exciting if I didn’t graze that line from time to time. 

I believe that there are two kinds of people in this world. There’s the person who would never go near the line and the person who teeters (twerks)/crosses the line. The distance we choose to keep from the line ultimately says a lot about us, but in a world where people have become so desensitized; how does one take risks without seeming like the idiot that looks for trouble?

I think that in order to keep some of the purity within ourselves, we draw these lines. It’s safe, it keeps things in order, and it reduces the risk of getting hurt or hurting others. But I can’t help but to feel stifled by the boundary sometimes. I will always respect it, but I can’t promise that I will reject that free shot that I know I shouldn’t take. That shot might make me muster up the courage to talk to the cute guy that could possibly be the love of my life! As logical as we all might like to be, sometimes what seems like a bad thing could lead to a great thing. I know that isn’t always the case, but if anything, it’ll make for a great story! 

My current obsession, Meredith Grey, once said, “At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your life drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them.” Just a little something to put in your back pocket! 😘

“Put on your shades cause I’ll be dancing in the flames tonight yeah, baby! Tonight yeah, baby!”

SONG OF THE WEEK

Party by Beyoncé featuring Andre 3000. For obvious reasons 🤗

CURRENT OBSESSION

Grey’s. Fucking. Anatomy.

Those of you close to me know how important this show has become to me. Not only has it made me feel like I can go into an OR and perform an appy, but it has also emotionally scarred me for life. 

WATCH THIS SHOW!

Until next time!

XO,

Carlos 

Feelin’ Some Typa Way

Hello, hello, hello!!

Man, its been a minute! Please forgive me for being such a terrible blogger! I have completely sucked at this! Here’s some quick T about what’s going on in my life!

First of all, can I get a “HALLELOO” for this beautiful weather?! I mean, I feel bad for everyone out there getting sick and all, but I’ve been trying to bust out the jackets, gloves, and scarves all year! HELLO! God knows Texas be playing games with the weather, so, we have to appreciate every second we get of this chilly weather!

As we get closer to the holidays, I just wanted to throw some thangs out there to help make everyone’s lives a little easier while shopping. Especially with that dreadful Black Friday coming up!

1. Be nice! There is nothing worse than dealing with a rude customer OR employee.

2. Wait yo turn! Do not cut in line! Or else YOU will get cut.

3. Read your coupons and understand them thoroughly before you try and use them. It is SO annoying when someone gets to the register and tries to argue about the coupon. Not only do I hate you, but the long ass line of people behind you hates you too!

4. No, you can’t have your coupon back after you use it. DON’T BE GREEDY!

5. Please get off of your phone when it’s your turn to check out. You’re not that important.

6. Control your kids. I understand if your infant is screaming bloody murder, you can’t control that sometimes, but the walking ones…uh-uh…get them together.

7. Don’t steal. Just don’t do it!

8. Throwing a tantrum will only make you look tacky and you WILL get talked about when you leave. I’m talking about you grown bitches out there throwing tantrums! Have some class.

9. Read the promotion signs carefully. You’ll make everyone’s lives easier.

10. Just because it’s Fall/Winter doesn’t mean you can’t wear some color! Spice up your life! It’s not all about browns and blacks!

Follow these simple suggestions and TRUST you will have a better holiday experience 🙂

Speaking of experiences…I’ve been experiencing something real cute lately! I’m not one to kiss and tell, but this guy has me feelin’ some typa way 🙂 He’s so adorable, kind, and loves to drink! Umm…HALLELOO! That’s all I’m going to say about this hot topic! 🙂

Another experience! I’M A CRUNKLE!! My beautiful baby sister, Nancy,  gave birth to my adorable nephew! His name is Jacob Alexander Castro! I’m going to spoil him rotten and buy him noisy toys 🙂

I could not be more excited about the holidays! Even though I get crazy busy with work and finals, the holiday cheer never gets overlooked by me! I love the weather, the decorations, Shiner Holiday Cheer, and the music! Speaking of! If you haven’t picked up your copy of Kelly Clarkson’s Wrapped In Red album, umm jump on that! It is SO good! By the way, I can’t believe she’s pregnant! Congrats, Kelly and Brandon!

One last topic, ARTPOP. Are you guys as obsessed with this album as I am?! HELLO! It’s like I have a new favorite song every other day! Currently I can’t stop listening to Fashion! I just want to chill at a posh lounge in the gayborhood and sip on a vodka water while listening to this song. Which is SO unlike me because y’all know I like to turn up when I’m out. The next song I’m obsessed with is Venus. I mean, DON’T YOU KNOW MY ASS IS FAMOUS?! My least favorite song, Jewels & Drugs. I just don’t get it. Thoughts?!

Thank you guys for reading! Let me know what you’re thinking! I missed writing, and I promise to keep it up!

Love,

Carlos