No One Is Alone

Hello fans! 🙋🏽‍♂️

I hope y’all are all blessed and off of work!

These past couple of months have been insaaaaaane! I don’t know what was in the air this Summer, but we were tested every way possible. Guys, I went as far as having José cleanse me with an egg (it’s a Mexican ting) to get rid of any and all bad vibes! I think it worked a little!

Trying times can really take a toll on you mentally. As many of you know, I developed anxiety in the last two years and that stuff isn’t fun. Anxiety can mess with you in many ways. I recently discovered that even though I don’t feel that crippling anxiety feeling sometimes (which is the worst) it effects me in different ways. For instance, if you’ve been around me you know that sometimes I get like these sweat attacks! I know, it sounds so gross, but I like randomly start sweating profusely. It’s a form of anxiety! Any time I’m uncomfortable or stressed I start sweating. It’s so obnoxious, but since I’ve become aware of it I do certain things to help it pass and it works! I’ll get into that a little later. I’ve also recently noticed that I have OCD tendencies when I’m under stress. I have to fight the urge to like color code my clothes, mess with my nails until they’re perfectly even, or mess with my hair non-stop. Also, I get sleep paralysis which is the most terrifying thing in the world and it started happening to me on a daily basis because of stress. A bitch was going through it! Sometimes it really does feel like I’m going crazy! Add all the things that are happening around me and that’s the perfect recipe for a good meltdown!

This past Summer, I decided to start therapy.

Fans, I literally started getting that anxiety tingle in my hands as I typed that! It’s kind of a really super personal thing for me to put out there, but in honor of World Mental Health Day I thought this was important to share.

All of the things that have happened in my life this year kind of started breaking me a bit. I honestly felt like my life was unraveling and I didn’t really know how to put it back together. You guys know I have the most amazing people in my life. My friends are the greatest people I know and my family is the best. So, I didn’t understand how with all of these great people around me I still managed to feel like the loneliest crazy person on Earth.

The idea of therapy was always in the back of my head, but it almost felt selfish considering it because I’ve been blessed with being surrounded with love all of my life and that has always been enough. I love my friends and family, but if I heard them tell me, “You’re such a good guy! You deserve more!” or “It’ll get better” one more time I was going to lose it.

It was tough (and expensive), but I finally gave it a chance! It’s been 5 months since I started therapy and I can honestly say it has been one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. Next to selling my soul to Beyoncé, of course 🐝

I’m not trying to push therapy on y’all! I’m sure it’s not for everyone, but I’ve found it very helpful. From anxiety coping skills to confronting that pesky little demon in my sleep paralysis to learning about self acceptance, it’s been quite a journey!

It’s not all smooth sailing though! It takes work outside of the sessions. Some days it takes A LOT of work, but tell me why I’ve learned to get this anxiety under control and I’ve only had two episodes of sleep paralysis since I started!

I’m still a work in progress, but the road ahead is a little less fuzzy.

I don’t want to keep y’all reading so I’ll end with this. Mental health is so important, fans. There are many FREE resources out there to help with mental illness and I strongly encourage y’all to explore them. If you need help looking anything up, I’m your guy! I know it can be hard to reach out for help, but that’s what we’re here for. In the words of Stephen Sondheim and The Rembrandts, no one is alone. I’ll be there for you 💜

CURRENT OBSESSION

A STAR IS BORN!

This Oscar worthy film is everything you need and more! The soundtrack is fire too. Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper did that!

Until next time!

XO,

-Carlos

Where Does The Good Go?

First and foremost, HAPPY 7/11 👌🏽

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! Remember me?! I’m not even going to bother with providing y’all with an excuse. She’s back and thanks for being here! 🌸

It takes me a second to get over stuff. I’m definitely that “I’ll get over it, but let me be dramatic about it for a second” type of girl. Charlotte York once said that it should take you half the duration that anything took to get over it if it goes bad. For instance, if you took a month to do something and it doesn’t work out or it goes awry, you should take no more than 2 weeks to dwell on it and get over it. I’ve come to realize that that’s kind of bullshit. I know! I never thought I’d come to a point in life where I’d disagree with any knowledge imparted by the SATC ladies, but everyone should be on their own timeline. I’ve also come to realize that the idea of “closure” is such a TV made up word. That’s not a thing. You learn to let go of whatever idea you had in your head and move past it. You can fight me on this 👐🏽

I’m fine, guys! I’m sorry about the brief hiatus. I was just In My Feelings about this bird. Y’all know my bounce back is like no other. Your texts and messages meant a lot to me 🌸

I don’t believe in throwing people away, at least not anymore. I’ve come to a place where I’ve learned to appreciate the role anyone has ever played in my story. My struggle is dealing with the loss, if you will. The loss of having someone in your life that likes you in THAT way, no matter the length of time. It was nice. It inevitably invites that crippling feeling of loneliness and it’s not a good time. You know, it’s easy to get clouded with thoughts of not being good enough or feeling like a fool. It’s tough shit, but you do come around and realize that although he might’ve been very dreamy, he wasn’t the sun.

I’m the sun ☀️

I’m on that Grey’s Anatomy shit, y’all 😂

I learned a couple of lessons, had so many good laughs, and most importantly gained a really good friend. It was definitely a summer to remember. So, I guess you can say that’s where the good goes.

I do know this for sure…no matter who messed with your heart or how long it takes to recover, you’ll never get through it without your friends (assistants)❤

CURRENT OBSESSION

Everything Is Love ❤ THIS JOINT ALBUM, Y’ALL!! Can you believe?! It’s everything. You hoes can now stream it everywhere!

SONG OF THE MONTH

Summer by Beyoncé and Jay Z! This song is such a summer vibe, guys. It’s literally my favorite song on the album! Treat yaself and take a listen! 👂🏽

I missed y’all! I missed sharing and getting stuff out through this medium. I promise I’ll be back soon! Look at these messages I got after the hiatus. Y’all are a big ass mess 😂

I’m gonna go drink some water now and see where that takes me.

XO,

Carlos 🌸

Thank You For The Music

HELLO…IT’S ME…(In my best Adele)

I’ve always found it so insane how fast things can change in such a short period of time. It’s almost kind of ridiculous how we’re expected to adapt to change so quickly when it happens so suddenly sometimes, but that’s the way it goes when you’re living in such a fast paced life. People get older, people get together, people break-up, people start registering for Christmas;  and its all happening so fast that you kind of forget to take a moment to process just what the hell happened. Like, how am I 26 now and single again? It feels like just yesterday I was 25 with a Facebook relationship status that “broke the Internet.” I blinked and here I am, laying in bed waiting for Scandal to come on while listening to Phil Collins’ Against All Odds and feeling a little more cynical than “yesterday.”

Don’t worry, guys! I’m not depressed or anything! I’m just still trying to catch up. Well, I feel like my head is finally up to speed, but my heart still has a bit of catching up to do 😉 Being in a relationship, at least for me, is a lot of fun and I find it so exciting, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out and I’ve come to learn that you just have to be thankful it happened. In that time, I was the happiest bee and I wouldn’t trade that for anything. So I’m very thankful and I wish that lil bird nothing but the absolute best 🐣

In a world that moves so quickly, you have to remember to take a second or two and get yourself together. It’s so easy to just say “get over it” or “keep it moving.” It’s important to take a moment and process. You always want to arrive to the next part of life looking stunning and impossibly fresh looking 💁

World stop………….Carry on 💅

CURRENT OBSESSION

PENTATONIX!!!

I’ve been obsessed with them for awhile, but this new self-titled album they just put out is giving me my whole life!  Go get it!

SONG OF THE WEEK

Misbehavin’ by Pentatonix! It’s off of their new album. This song is so beautiful! It’s about the feelings and things you go through while being away from that special someone. So good!

Until next time! ❤

XO,

-Carlos

Summer Lovin’

Hello! 🙋

The other day, my gurl John Anthony was like, “Hey didn’t you have a blog?” I was like, “Oh muh gawd! Who am I?” I get a man and forget how to act! 😂

So much has happened since May. Although it feels like just yesterday I was crying (happy tears) like a biotch in the middle of Times Square! 😅

This summer has been good to me! I’ve had a lot of memorable summers in my life, but this one is definitely up there. I went to NYC, I was in the hospital for the very first since I was born, I had surgery, my bff asked me to be her Maid of Honor, I made some amazing new friends, and I came across a very special person on a Wednesday night at Crocker 🙂

He’s…in a word, perfect. He hates when I say that, but it’s true! He’s probably the most interesting person I’ve ever met and that’s my favorite thing about him. I look like I slept with a hanger in my mouth when I’m around him or talk about him because he constantly keeps me smiling. I’m going to stop now because he’s going to make fun of me for all of the above 😅😒 Today is our two month anniversary and I just feel really thankful that he had bigger balls than I did and asked my assistant for my number! I never thought that cuddling and listening to records would be my favorite thing to do with anyone. I’m blessed that it’s with you, lil bird 🐣😍

And that’s the end of The Corn ball Fest! 😅 The summer is coming to an end, “but…oh, those suuuhuummeeeer….NIIIIIII-HIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!!!” *In my best Danny Zuko

WEEKLY OBSESSION!

American Vogue’s September Issue!

Not only because Beyoncé was the cover girl, but because FALL/WINTER FASHION! It looks like some of the big trends for this fall are prints that reference furniture fabrics, a touch of fur, Eighties Redux, and shiny fabrics! Here are some looks:

(This is a SS16 look, but acceptable for Fall ;))

SONG OF THE WEEK!

https://youtu.be/eJSik6ejkr0

Runnin’ (Lose It All) by Naughty Boy feat. Beyoncé and Arrow Benjamin

This song and video are absolutely beautiful! Beyoncé obvs slays.

Until next time! 💜

XO,

Carlos

Lesson Learned

Hello! 🙋

I read somewhere recently that everything happens for a reason, and that sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions. If it takes a bad experience for you to learn a lesson, then so be it. What matters is what you do going forward.

My bad experience is finally over, and it has truly changed my life forever. I feel that I’m a different person now and I’m heading in the direction that I need to be going. It definitely isn’t what I envisioned for myself, but I’ve learned to embrace the change. I also learned that everyone has their own path they need to follow. Everyone is always going to have an opinion or something to say, but you’re in charge of your life. No one else. Do you, baby. Get to where you need to be your way 😉

DWI’s don’t get dismissed everyday, so I’m fully aware of how lucky I am. I also know that it wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for all of your good thoughts and prayers. For whatever reason, God decided to give a bitch a second chance and I do not intend on fucking it up!

I want to take a moment and thank my little cousin Gabbie. I honestly don’t know if I would have been able to make it through this without you. You have been my rock throughout this whole mess and I just want to let you know how much of a blessing you’ve been to me. You always kept telling me it was going to be okay and look! You were so right! I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything, but I’ll teach you how to do a keg stand tomorrow 🙌

I know that I’ve learned a lot from this experience, but I also hope that you guys have too. Drinking and driving is the dumbest, most irresponsible thing you could do. Don’t ruin your life. Take an Uber or call someone. I’m not joking when I tell you a DWI is the worst hangover you’ll ever have. Mine just went away yesterday 😉

WEEKLY OBSESSION!

BEYONCÉ.

SONG OF THE WEEK!

Throw Sum Mo by Rae Sremmurd  featuring Nicki Minaj. This song is on point and I cannot get it out of my head! Go listen!

Until next time, for some of y’all that will be at my Freedom Kiki tomorrow where we will be turning up! Responsibly of course 😉

XO,

Carlos

Ex-Factor

Hello! 🙋

Until just recently, I always believed that staying friends with an ex is something that shouldn’t happen. I believed staying friends with an ex was just asking for trouble, especially when you’re in a relationship with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I still kind of believe that, but is there ever an exception? An exception that is good for everyone involved?

Of course, there are people out there that are perfectly fine with being friends with an ex and life is swell for them, but what about the people that aren’t able to cope with it? Are their feelings invalid? Are they being childish? I think being friends with an ex only becomes a real issue when you’re in a relationship. Maybe it all boils down to trust issues, but things do tend to get a little complicated when an ex is involved.

I know it does for me. One of my exes was like best friends with his exes, and it drove me up the wall. Throughout our relationship, I learned to deal with it because I kept telling myself I was being immature. I even went as far as almost being friends with one of them for the sake of….hmmm…I guess my sanity. In the end, my ex cheated on me with his ex. The one I was almost friends with.

It was tough! I also understand that this is just one situation. I know of plenty of people who make the ex thing work, but I can’t help but think that it’s just playing with fire.

When you break up with someone, where does everything you guys had go? To hell? To the next person? Does it ever really just go away?

When it comes to exes, is anything really ever off the table?

Sooooo I’m Carrie Bradshaw?! 😂😂😂

Ultimately, I respect everyone’s take on an ex. I think as long as you take everyone involved and their feelings into consideration, then I don’t see why it can’t work. Like with anything, there has to be that level of respect for one’s feelings.

What are your thoughts on a friendship with an ex? Good or bad idea? Really! Comment and let me know your thoughts!

WEEKLY OBSESSION!

Beyoncé’s Platinum Edition album!

Get it. It’s EVERYTHING! LITERALLY. 🙌🏄

SONG OF THE WEEK!

White Winter Hymnal by Pentatonix from their That’s Christmas To Me album. They are so good! It’s a cover song originally sung by Fleet Foxes who are also great! This piece is all voice and a syncopated hand clapping beat that’s infectious. The harmonies are beautiful and on point! My favorite part of the song are the tongue-in-cheek harmonies at the beginning. It sounds kind of funny, but I’m obsessed! Get the album! It’s on fleek!

Until next time!  God bless! 💜✌

XO,

Carlos

Feelin’ Some Typa Way

Hello, hello, hello!!

Man, its been a minute! Please forgive me for being such a terrible blogger! I have completely sucked at this! Here’s some quick T about what’s going on in my life!

First of all, can I get a “HALLELOO” for this beautiful weather?! I mean, I feel bad for everyone out there getting sick and all, but I’ve been trying to bust out the jackets, gloves, and scarves all year! HELLO! God knows Texas be playing games with the weather, so, we have to appreciate every second we get of this chilly weather!

As we get closer to the holidays, I just wanted to throw some thangs out there to help make everyone’s lives a little easier while shopping. Especially with that dreadful Black Friday coming up!

1. Be nice! There is nothing worse than dealing with a rude customer OR employee.

2. Wait yo turn! Do not cut in line! Or else YOU will get cut.

3. Read your coupons and understand them thoroughly before you try and use them. It is SO annoying when someone gets to the register and tries to argue about the coupon. Not only do I hate you, but the long ass line of people behind you hates you too!

4. No, you can’t have your coupon back after you use it. DON’T BE GREEDY!

5. Please get off of your phone when it’s your turn to check out. You’re not that important.

6. Control your kids. I understand if your infant is screaming bloody murder, you can’t control that sometimes, but the walking ones…uh-uh…get them together.

7. Don’t steal. Just don’t do it!

8. Throwing a tantrum will only make you look tacky and you WILL get talked about when you leave. I’m talking about you grown bitches out there throwing tantrums! Have some class.

9. Read the promotion signs carefully. You’ll make everyone’s lives easier.

10. Just because it’s Fall/Winter doesn’t mean you can’t wear some color! Spice up your life! It’s not all about browns and blacks!

Follow these simple suggestions and TRUST you will have a better holiday experience 🙂

Speaking of experiences…I’ve been experiencing something real cute lately! I’m not one to kiss and tell, but this guy has me feelin’ some typa way 🙂 He’s so adorable, kind, and loves to drink! Umm…HALLELOO! That’s all I’m going to say about this hot topic! 🙂

Another experience! I’M A CRUNKLE!! My beautiful baby sister, Nancy,  gave birth to my adorable nephew! His name is Jacob Alexander Castro! I’m going to spoil him rotten and buy him noisy toys 🙂

I could not be more excited about the holidays! Even though I get crazy busy with work and finals, the holiday cheer never gets overlooked by me! I love the weather, the decorations, Shiner Holiday Cheer, and the music! Speaking of! If you haven’t picked up your copy of Kelly Clarkson’s Wrapped In Red album, umm jump on that! It is SO good! By the way, I can’t believe she’s pregnant! Congrats, Kelly and Brandon!

One last topic, ARTPOP. Are you guys as obsessed with this album as I am?! HELLO! It’s like I have a new favorite song every other day! Currently I can’t stop listening to Fashion! I just want to chill at a posh lounge in the gayborhood and sip on a vodka water while listening to this song. Which is SO unlike me because y’all know I like to turn up when I’m out. The next song I’m obsessed with is Venus. I mean, DON’T YOU KNOW MY ASS IS FAMOUS?! My least favorite song, Jewels & Drugs. I just don’t get it. Thoughts?!

Thank you guys for reading! Let me know what you’re thinking! I missed writing, and I promise to keep it up!

Love,

Carlos

My First Blog!

This is so exciting! My first blog! Well, I had Xanga back in the day, but chiiiiild that was a mess.com/ByeFelicia. So here’s my first OFFICIAL blog! 🙂

I was walking through campus on this lovely Cougar Red Friday, and I had a thought. Well, several thoughts. This led me to believe that I am either crazy or that I need to start writing things down so I can keep track of the shit that goes on in my head!

I got on Facebook as I walking and jammin’ to Aaliyah’s Rock The Boat, and I happened to come across Ms. Chelcy Cotton’s status. She was talking about her blog! I was like,”Guurrrlllll, let me get into this gig!”

I feel that I have a lot to say, and those of you who know me know I’m not one to gossip (wink, wink!), but I do feel that I have interesting (sometimes funny) thoughts. I don’t know who would give a rat’s ass about what I have to say, but if I can make someone laugh or make you feel some type of way, then I think this whole thing is worth it!

I’ll be sharing my thoughts about life, random people on the streets, fashion, celeb gossip, nightlife (cause y’all know I like to pataaaayy! Aayyyeee, aayyyyeee!), music, and just the random shit that happens to me!

Come with me on this interesting journey!

Can you keep up?

Love,

Carlos