Where Does The Good Go?

First and foremost, HAPPY 7/11 👌🏽

Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! Remember me?! I’m not even going to bother with providing y’all with an excuse. She’s back and thanks for being here! 🌸

It takes me a second to get over stuff. I’m definitely that “I’ll get over it, but let me be dramatic about it for a second” type of girl. Charlotte York once said that it should take you half the duration that anything took to get over it if it goes bad. For instance, if you took a month to do something and it doesn’t work out or it goes awry, you should take no more than 2 weeks to dwell on it and get over it. I’ve come to realize that that’s kind of bullshit. I know! I never thought I’d come to a point in life where I’d disagree with any knowledge imparted by the SATC ladies, but everyone should be on their own timeline. I’ve also come to realize that the idea of “closure” is such a TV made up word. That’s not a thing. You learn to let go of whatever idea you had in your head and move past it. You can fight me on this 👐🏽

I’m fine, guys! I’m sorry about the brief hiatus. I was just In My Feelings about this bird. Y’all know my bounce back is like no other. Your texts and messages meant a lot to me 🌸

I don’t believe in throwing people away, at least not anymore. I’ve come to a place where I’ve learned to appreciate the role anyone has ever played in my story. My struggle is dealing with the loss, if you will. The loss of having someone in your life that likes you in THAT way, no matter the length of time. It was nice. It inevitably invites that crippling feeling of loneliness and it’s not a good time. You know, it’s easy to get clouded with thoughts of not being good enough or feeling like a fool. It’s tough shit, but you do come around and realize that although he might’ve been very dreamy, he wasn’t the sun.

I’m the sun ☀️

I’m on that Grey’s Anatomy shit, y’all 😂

I learned a couple of lessons, had so many good laughs, and most importantly gained a really good friend. It was definitely a summer to remember. So, I guess you can say that’s where the good goes.

I do know this for sure…no matter who messed with your heart or how long it takes to recover, you’ll never get through it without your friends (assistants)❤

CURRENT OBSESSION

Everything Is Love ❤ THIS JOINT ALBUM, Y’ALL!! Can you believe?! It’s everything. You hoes can now stream it everywhere!

SONG OF THE MONTH

Summer by Beyoncé and Jay Z! This song is such a summer vibe, guys. It’s literally my favorite song on the album! Treat yaself and take a listen! 👂🏽

I missed y’all! I missed sharing and getting stuff out through this medium. I promise I’ll be back soon! Look at these messages I got after the hiatus. Y’all are a big ass mess 😂

I’m gonna go drink some water now and see where that takes me.

XO,

Carlos 🌸

Anything Goes

Hello lil birds! 🐤🐥🐥🐓🐔

Thank you for coming back! 💓

Recently, I’ve been giving monogomy a lot of thought. Monogomy is a form of relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime or at any one time. All of the relationships that I’ve been in have been monogamous relationships. I actually can’t picture myself in any type of polygamous or open relationship. First of all, some of you know how I feel about sharing things. Secondly, it just sounds a little dangerous! 😓 However, open relationships are way more common than y’all might know. They’re not like a “new thing” or anything, but they’re certainly still difficult for me to wrap my mind around. Let’s twalk.

How does a couple decide to venture into an open relationship? Is it something that’s decided up front, or something that happens further into the relationship? How does one protect, as cheesy as it sounds, their heart? By that I mean how does one avoid getting hurt by anything that might go wrong?

Is sharing really caring?

The latest episode of Looking (a show on HBO that stars Jonathan Groff) tackles the emotional toll open relationships can have on some people. I imagine people get involved in these types of relationships for the thrill or maybe just because it’s hot. I understand that ground rules are set and as long as these rules aren’t broken everything is copacetic.

In the show, Dom, the hot middle aged man who is struggling to get a business going whilst trying to understand his open relationship with a much older man (Lynn), starts to realize that maybe the open relationship thing isn’t for him. Lynn flat out says an open relationship is all he can offer Dom. This kind of breaks Dom a little. He knew what he was getting himself into from the start, but the thing was he thought this was something him and his Lynn were doing just for funsies. What Dom didn’t know was Lynn was doing him just for funsies too. It no longer was something that they were just doing for fun together. It was all they were ever going to have. This is just a case of not being on the same damn page.

Ultimately, open relationships are, from my understanding, something that couples decide to take on to spice things up. It’s not something that is necessary.It’s strictly fun just as long as everyone is being honest. Once you have that understanding, hopefully everything else is smooth sailing 😉

The thing that is key is honesty. I think it should be for many of us in any type of relationship. It sounds very simple, but its proven to be more complex than it should be. Dishonesty can ruin any relationship.

Although open relationships are very common nowadays, to some they still might be a little confusing. It’s a hot topic, and one that we should try to not be so closed-minded about. I feel like trying to understand open relationships has not only enlightened me a little bit, but it also has encouraged me to invite third parties into my bedroom.

Just kidding! 😂

I don’t know that I’d ever get involved in an open relationship, but I do feel that it isn’t such a taboo subject anymore. To those of y’all that are down with that, more power to ya! 😉

Let me know your thoughts on this!

“In olden days a glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as something shocking,
But now, God knows,
Anything Goes.”

WEEKLY OBSESSION!

Beyoncé taking us to church on Sunday night during her Grammy performance!

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

Song of The Week!

Lonely Tonight by Blake Shelton feat. Ashley Monroe. This song is off of his most recent album, Bringing Back The Sunshine. This song is absolutely beautiful! Perfect for that lonely Valentine’s Day some of us will be having 😒

Y’all be blessed now! Until next time! 💜

XO,

Carlos

Ex-Factor

Hello! 🙋

Until just recently, I always believed that staying friends with an ex is something that shouldn’t happen. I believed staying friends with an ex was just asking for trouble, especially when you’re in a relationship with someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I still kind of believe that, but is there ever an exception? An exception that is good for everyone involved?

Of course, there are people out there that are perfectly fine with being friends with an ex and life is swell for them, but what about the people that aren’t able to cope with it? Are their feelings invalid? Are they being childish? I think being friends with an ex only becomes a real issue when you’re in a relationship. Maybe it all boils down to trust issues, but things do tend to get a little complicated when an ex is involved.

I know it does for me. One of my exes was like best friends with his exes, and it drove me up the wall. Throughout our relationship, I learned to deal with it because I kept telling myself I was being immature. I even went as far as almost being friends with one of them for the sake of….hmmm…I guess my sanity. In the end, my ex cheated on me with his ex. The one I was almost friends with.

It was tough! I also understand that this is just one situation. I know of plenty of people who make the ex thing work, but I can’t help but think that it’s just playing with fire.

When you break up with someone, where does everything you guys had go? To hell? To the next person? Does it ever really just go away?

When it comes to exes, is anything really ever off the table?

Sooooo I’m Carrie Bradshaw?! 😂😂😂

Ultimately, I respect everyone’s take on an ex. I think as long as you take everyone involved and their feelings into consideration, then I don’t see why it can’t work. Like with anything, there has to be that level of respect for one’s feelings.

What are your thoughts on a friendship with an ex? Good or bad idea? Really! Comment and let me know your thoughts!

WEEKLY OBSESSION!

Beyoncé’s Platinum Edition album!

Get it. It’s EVERYTHING! LITERALLY. 🙌🏄

SONG OF THE WEEK!

White Winter Hymnal by Pentatonix from their That’s Christmas To Me album. They are so good! It’s a cover song originally sung by Fleet Foxes who are also great! This piece is all voice and a syncopated hand clapping beat that’s infectious. The harmonies are beautiful and on point! My favorite part of the song are the tongue-in-cheek harmonies at the beginning. It sounds kind of funny, but I’m obsessed! Get the album! It’s on fleek!

Until next time!  God bless! 💜✌

XO,

Carlos